Navigating Life’s Turnings: A Journey of Resilience and Self-Care

Let’s talk about something that we all encounter, yet often struggle to navigate—those pivotal moments in life that I like to call “turnings.” These are the significant shifts that come when we least expect them, moments that require us to adapt, rethink, and evolve in ways we never imagined. Working as a Hospice Chaplain I encounter a lot of caregivers who are doing their best to care for their love ones and these turnings take on a whole new level of complexity.

Being a caregiver is one of the most profound roles we can take on, but it’s also one of the most challenging. Whether you’re caring for an aging parent, a partner with a chronic illness, or a child with special needs, the journey is filled with twists and turns that demand more from you than you might think you can give. Each turning—whether it’s a decline in your loved one’s health, a new diagnosis, or even a moment of crisis—calls for a shift in how you approach everything.

The Challenge of Turnings

When life throws a new challenge your way, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. You might find yourself asking, “Why now? Why this?” But these turnings, as difficult as they are, aren’t just about the circumstances—they’re about how we respond to them. Every turning is an opportunity to learn, to grow, and to develop new coping strategies that will carry us through the storm.

These turnings don’t just affect our loved ones; they affect us too. As caregivers, we’re not just bystanders in these moments—we’re deeply intertwined in them. We’re bombarded with a whirlwind of emotions, from fear and frustration to guilt and exhaustion. These feelings force us to question our motives, to dig deep and figure out what really matters.

Shifting Your Attitude

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that each turning requires a shift in attitude. The way you approached things yesterday might not work today. And that’s okay. It’s about being flexible, being willing to adapt, and understanding that it’s not just your loved one who’s going through a transformation—you are too.

This shift in attitude is about moving from a place of fear to a place of empowerment. It’s about recognizing that while you can’t control the turnings themselves, you can control how you respond to them. It’s about becoming not just a caregiver, but a fearless advocate for your loved one. This means stepping up, asking the tough questions, and sometimes making difficult decisions. It’s not easy, but it’s necessary.

Caring for Yourself Along the Way

Here’s something we don’t talk about enough: As you navigate these turnings, it’s crucial to take care of yourself too. It’s easy to get so wrapped up in caring for someone else that you forget about your own needs. But here’s the truth—you can’t pour from an empty cup. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t have the energy or the resilience to handle the turnings when they come.

Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential. It’s about finding balance, setting boundaries, and giving yourself permission to rest and recharge. It’s about recognizing that you’re not just a caregiver—you’re a human being with your own needs and emotions. And those need to be honored just as much as the needs of your loved one.

Building Your Toolkit

So, how do you prepare for these turnings? How do you build the resilience and strength you need to navigate them? It starts with expanding your toolkit. This means seeking out new resources, learning new skills, and finding the support you need. It might involve joining a support group, seeking counseling, or simply reaching out to friends and family for help.

It’s also about embracing the idea that you don’t have to do this alone. There’s strength in community, in connecting with others who are going through similar experiences. Together, you can share strategies, offer support, and remind each other that you’re not in this alone.

Life’s turnings are inevitable. They challenge us, push us to our limits, and force us to grow in ways we never expected. But they’re also opportunities—opportunities to become stronger, more compassionate, and more resilient. As caregivers, we have the incredible responsibility of not only caring for our loved ones but also caring for ourselves. It’s a journey that requires courage, patience, and a whole lot of love.

So, as you face your own turnings, remember that you have the strength to navigate them. Embrace the changes, adapt to the challenges, and don’t forget to take care of yourself along the way. You’re not just surviving these turnings—you’re growing through them.

With Love,

Gene Quiocho